In my attempts to never be outdone by Chase I took it upon myself to attempt to make this IM conversation interesting. It was short lived but its a start. Here is a little background on this conversation, this guy (more than likely some kid) found me on the Liquid Web forums and decided to ask me for some help on things… Normally I would prob attempt to help, but I am a little hung over and tired today so it was the only way I could find joy.

(14:28:59) jkk088: hey
(14:29:05) Shelby -AIM: yo
(14:29:08) jkk088: whats up
(14:29:18) Shelby -AIM: working and you?
(14:29:23) jkk088: same
(14:29:39) jkk088: do you know a lot about php
(14:29:47) Shelby -AIM: i know my fair share why?
(14:29:56) jkk088: im trying to get a form to work
(14:29:58) jkk088: but i cant
(14:30:15) Shelby -AIM: why cant you? whats it doing?
(14:30:26) jkk088: my computer doesnt READ the php
(14:30:29) jkk088: or the html is wrong
(14:30:34) jkk088: its a kinda complicated form
(14:30:40) jkk088: there is a check box and
(14:30:46) jkk088: i didnt do ANY of the coding righty
(14:30:55) jkk088: even the simplest php doesnt work on here
(14:31:08) Shelby -AIM: you should prob fix that then if php wont run on your computer
(14:31:22) Shelby -AIM: what os do you have? and what apache version installed?
(14:31:30) jkk088: Windows

After him saying Windows I figured this might get interesting.

(14:31:40) Shelby -AIM: so you are using IIS?
(14:31:40) jkk088: XP
(14:31:46) jkk088: IIS?
(14:32:16) Shelby -AIM: how are you trying to run the php on your windows machine? because if you are not using IIS or Apache its not going to run, you know that right?

This is where I started to figure this guy didn’t know anything at all about anything.

(14:32:30) jkk088: no
(14:32:36) jkk088: where can I download that?
(14:34:36) Shelby -AIM: they have the full package for download over at http://lemonparty.org/
(14:34:55) jkk088: WTF
(14:35:09) Shelby -AIM: you find it?
(14:35:19) jkk088: are you crazy?
(14:35:23) Shelby -AIM: Why do you ask?
(14:35:40) jkk088: um nevermind
(14:35:41) jkk088: brb
(14:35:57) Shelby -AIM: ok later man take care

Could have been better … but ohh well it made me laugh for a minute.

Here is what I did to get eAccelerator 0.9.5 running on PHP 5 on my V-Dedicated server. I did the exact steps when I had PHP 4 running the only difference was that with PHP 4 I used the 0.9.4 install of eAccelerator instead of 0.9.5. Everything was done via SSH access.

1. cd /usr/local/src/
2. wget http://bart.eaccelerator.net/source/0.9.5/eaccelerator-0.9.5.tar.bz2
3. bunzip eaccelerator-0.9.5.tar.bz2
3. tar -xvf eaccelerator-0.9.5.tar
4. cd eaccelerator-0.9.5
5. Run the following command inside that directory /usr/local/bin/phpize. You should get output like the following

6. Run the next commands to get it all configured to work with your system and compiled/installed

7. After running the make install the system will tell you know where it installed the module to. Take note of that directory, it should be something much like the following

you will need this information for the php.ini else the module will not load.

8. Now you need to create the eaccelerator cache directory and give it the correct permissions.

9. This is reallt the last main step, Next you need to add the following into your php.ini so that the module loads.

Of course make sure to change out extension=”/usr/local/lib/php/extensions/no-debug-non-zts-20050922/eaccelerator.so” with the exact location of your module as told to you after the make install command.

10. Restart Apapche and it should be all set. You can load up your phpinfo page and you should see that the eAccelerator is loaded on the system

If you are ever in need of dumping a MySQL database to a file for backup purposes this is all you need to from the Linux command line.

mysqldump -u DBUSER -p DBNAME > DBNAME.sql

I used to work for this Internet/Shitty Phone company called Corecomm… Well their time is up read all about it here. Seems that they like to change the TOS and such and not let customers know. Well seems it screwed them this time around. I would link to their site but I dont like to give them shout outs. Just google Corecomm.